


All I've Ever Heard Are Love Songs

by Anonymous



Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 14:17:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15341628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Pat wonders how long they've been like this and not realized until the distance wore at them.





	All I've Ever Heard Are Love Songs

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all. just because android supports Word does not mean it's Good but bless this mess etc.
> 
> Title is from I Dare You by The xx

Pat stares at Brian's name, the green indicator of his online status on skype, with a distant sort of want and a more present mix of indecision and concern; It's around eight which means... one in the morning where Brian is. He considers chastising Brian for working too hard even while on vacation, but for all Pat knows he could be chatting with family.

He wants to say something, but anything other than the truth behind why he's felt distinctly off kilter as the week has progressed. Somewhere along the line, Pat forgot what it was like not to have a Brian around. He selfishly hopes Brian feels the same, wishes he had the guts to ask.

_what up hoss?_ The chat window bounces open and Pat smiles to himself as he replies to Brian's query.

_just killed an ungodly amount of pizza with the roomie. how's london?_

_lovely. surprisingly sunny._

Pat's first thought is ridiculous: thinks saccharine thoughts of how Brian's presence must affected the weather so positively. As it stands he sends, _that's great man_ , at the same time he receives, _can I call you?_

  
Pat knows why it feels like toeing some sort of line on his end; he's never had a friendship quite like this, so open and generous. It should be comfortable, it is comfortable, but Pat is a greedy bastard, and the more love Brian sends his way, the more he craves from him; acknowledges that his feelings for Brian have become more than strictly friendship feels.

_sure_

Brian's smile is so sweet when his face fills Pat's screen, warmly lit by the beside lamp of his hotel room that Pat can't help but blurt out, "goddamn I miss you." He feels his face heat, but the surprised laughter keeps him from feeling too out of line.

"glad I'm not the only one." Brian's smile is smaller now, no less genuine, a seriousness to his gaze.

Pat's at a loss for words, content to just take Brian in; realizes the other man is doing the same and wonders how long they've been like this and not realized until the distance wore at them.

"I thought I would be happier here." Brian says, voice low. Pat makes a noise of concern, and Brian shakes his head.

"I phrased that wrong. I mean, I guess I didn't realize how much I've gotten used to New York."

"Ah yes, this big apple's got some big teeth." Pat says, watches Brian's nose scrunch up as he laughs.

"An apple with teeth is a horrifying image."

"Yeah I realized that as soon as I'd said it but now it's out there." Pat shrugs, asks, "What time is it even over there?" In his roundabout way of asking Brian why he's up so late. 

"Like one thirty," Brian says sheepishly. "I can't sleep. Are you working on anything?"

Pat knows that feeling, his body begging for unconsciousness while his mind whirs. He doesn't envy Brian, tries to think of any way he can help.

"I'm uh, I'm trying to get the hang of Fortnite at the moment."

"and how's that going? You on your way to becoming John Wick?"

"it's a work in progress."

Brian makes a noise of understanding.

"Would you keep playing? I like hearing your commentary."

"One lo-fi stream incoming." Pat tells him, leans away to grab his Switch. When he looks back at the screen Brian is jostling his laptop and then he's sideways.

"Getting comfy?" Pat asks fondly. Brian nods and Pat's struck with an idea, moves his laptop to the side of his bed, atop the pillow beside him. 

"There, now it's a VR experience."

"Charlie Cam." Brian says a little sleepily. His hair's fanning out on pillow and Pat has a desperate tug of want that runs a gamut from just running his hand through Brian's blond strands to less pure things they could be doing if Brian were actually here.

It's less awkward than it has any right to be, Pat murmuring about his gameplay as Brian watches him, eventually focusing on the game more than the feel of Brian's dark eyes on him. After about an hour he looks over to see Brian's eyes have fallen shut, lips parted in sleep.

Pat watches him for probably too long, wonders how he could have possibly missed falling in love with the other man.

"'Night Brian." Pat says softly as he ends the Skype call.

 

He gets a text as he's getting settled at his desk the next morning.

_thanks for last night_

Pat feels his face heat at the ambiguity of Brian's words. His thumbs hover over the keyboard before he decides upon, _anytime_ ; resists the urge to tack on 'dude' to alleviate the sense of intimacy.

"Patrick Gill are you flirting at this hour of the morning?!" Simone's voice rings out beside him making him jump.

"Jesus Simone." He looks up at the woman taking her seat beside him. "I wasn't flirting."

She shoots him a look of disbelief. "I write romance novels Pat. I can spy a clandestine text convo from a mile away."

"Simone..." She throws her hands up in acquiescence.

"Okay, fine, fine. I know you'll tell Mama Simone when you're ready."

He casts a sidelong glance at her. He usually caves and tells Simone about his mixed experiences on Tinder, but this is markedly different. He keeps expecting the chest tightening anxiety he associates with trying to woo someone, but it hasn't come and he's not sure it even will. He's so used to things working out with Brian involved, it doesn't take much to convince himself this will as well.

"I got this one."

 

  
He and Brian don't Skype again, just send the usual texts back and forth about work and their friends.

He gets a _feels good to be back in new york_ around midnight on Saturday. He smiles as he types back, _welcome back to nyc baby_ and more seriously _, glad you got back in one piece_.

He's about to plug the charger into his phone when it starts vibrating with a call.

"So uh, I'm really hoping I haven't read too much into this and London hasn't scrambled my brain," Brian says in a rush, squeezing too many words into one breath. "But I'm outside your apartment building like a god dang jabroni."

Pat's already hunting down his shoes, pulse quickening with anticipation. "No-- you're not," he swallows hard, not expecting the confession to fall from his lips so easily, "I mean, you haven't. God I'm garbage at this, I'm on my way." He hangs up the phone on Brian's chuckle, his fingers shaking slightly as hurried slips on his sneakers. He runs down the couple flights of stairs, almost doesn't expect Brian to be there when he exits the building for some reason. But he is, solid and a little rumpled from the flight, but smile bright under the streetlights.

Pat meanders over like he hadn't just run down the stairs.

"Hi," he says, lamely; Brian's smile widens, as if he was expecting it, reaches forward to grasp Pat's hand, as if it's just that easy. Pat tries it himself, reaches for Brian's other hand and huh, turns out it is.

They stand there for a moment, surrounded by the stillness and humidity of the late New York City summer night, staring at each other. Brian rubs his thumbs over the inside of Pat's wrist and Pat suddenly needs Brian to know,

"I'm uh, super into you, turns out." Brian's eyes crinkle at the corners as he releases one of Pat's hand to tuck Pat's hair behind his ear; the gesture feels reassuring, causes a warm feeling to bloom within his chest.

"The feeling's mutual." Brian assures him, cradles his jaw and leans in to bring their lips together in the sweetest kiss Pat's ever experienced.

Pat's eyes slide closed as he moves even further into Brian's space, unsure of what to do with his hand before he decides to smooth it along Brian's waist. Brian's warm and solid and real under Pat's hand, and when he flexes his fingers he feels Brian's breath catch.

Brian breaks the kiss after another moment, brushing his nose against Pat's before leaning back enough to look him in the eye.

"I didn't really have a plan or anything, I just-- really wanted to see you. I can't believe it took being in London for two weeks to figure out I'm pretty much gone for you."

Pat chuckles even as he feels a blush break out at Brian's words, hopes it's dark enough to go unnoticed.

"Come upstairs?" Pat asks, bites lightly at his lower lip. He's not expecting Brian to jump into bed with him by any means, just craves a closeness with the other man that isn't experienced on the street in front of his building.

Brian appears to understand that, thankfully, and nods. Pat only realizes he's come directly from the airport when Brian hefts his backpack over his shoulder before following him inside. Pat doesn't know what to do with the resurgence of the warm emotion in his chest at the sight, let's it rise and settle under his skin.

Charlie's at the door when they enter the darkened apartment, peering up at Pat curiously, unused to any commotion at this time of night. He trots away when he spies Brian.

They slip off their shoes and walk in silence to Pat's room, conscientious of Pat's lightly snoring roommate down the hall. Brian wanders into Pat's room like he's done a dozen times before, taking a seat on the bed, but the naked adoration on his face is new when Pat turns after closing his door. Or maybe it's not, but he's just tuned into it now.

In the light of his bedside lamp, Pat can make out the dark circles below Brian's eyes and makes an executive decision.

"You gonna sleep in your slacks or?" He ribs gently, trying to feel unselfconscious as he shucks off his sweatpants. Brian smiles ruefully and shakes his head, hands going for fly and Pat tamps down on the desire low in his belly at the sight, pulls his t-shirt over his head so he’s left in his boxers; very little room for modesty in the midst of a New York heat wave. He crawls onto his bed, leans up against the headboard and watches as Brian pulls his shirt over his head, the pale skin of his back scattered with the occasional freckle. When he looks up at Pat he does a double take and Pat narrowly resists rolling his eyes even as he's pleased that Brian likes what he sees.

Brian crawls onto Pat's bed with more grace than Pat could ever muster, laying down beside him, sighing as his head sinks into the pillow. He reaches out to drag his finger across Pat's bare stomach, the muscles twitching at the unexpected touch.

"You're so hot, but I'm so tired." Pat can't help the soft laugh as he reaches over Brian to turn off the lamp.

"Just sleep, I'm not going anywhere," Pat reassures him, sinking his head onto a pillow of his own. He can't help but run his fingers through Brian's hair, moving some unruly locks off the side of his face. Brian hums contentedly, blindly grasps Pat's hand before it has a chance to retreat, kisses the back of it before releasing it to it's owner.

Pat's heart feels too big for his chest as he lays a similarly chaste kiss against Brian's forehead.

"'Night Brian."

 


End file.
